Gift of Second-Sight

After the Egyptian and Indian, the Greek and Roman, the Teuton and Mongolian, the Negro is a sort of seventh son, born with a veil, and gifted with second-sight in this American world, — a world which yields [them] no true self-consciousness, but only lets [them] see [them]self through the revelation of the other world (DuBois). 

-Ancestral Guide, W.E.B. DuBois, The Souls of Black Folk, 1903

Let me introduce you to the parts of me, those places I have gained second-sight before learning “true self-consciousness” is my birthright, as it is yours. 

 

A Note on Plurality 

First, I must state that it feels exhausting to go back in time and reach for these collective parts of me. Due to an environmentally and epigenetically traumatic upbringing, my soul split apart into multiple energies of self to protect me, something I believe DuBois alludes to when he discusses the soul of the Negro in America; code-switching and experiences of multiplicity and plurality are survival and have been since the original kidnapping and trafficking of Africans from our home soil. I imagine it spiritually as portals opened across my soul so my ancestors could enter and literally intimately guide and influence me towards survival and remembrance. 

My Littles

Sometimes these parts of me are near, sometimes not so close. I must be p a t i e n t and grounding with myself to be able to access these corners of my soul. I take many breaks as I write this, and many naps to give them the opportunity to come to me. “Them” are my Littles. They are a cluster of the spiritual first seeds of my energy as it was embodied. They reside in me at various stages of my youth and I often say they are the strongest parts of me because they have been since the beginning to witness all there has been to see and experience. They are my sensing warriors, as my intuition gratefully activates when they are near, I need only listen to them and take care of them or in today speak, respond to MY needs as they are reporting something is missing...

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Evacuation to Survive

            Second-sight began here first as I entered the world many weeks “too” soon, weighing 3.4oz. I immediately evacuated the womb of my mother who admittedly lived with worries, anxieties and depression while she carried me. I knew depression and grief before my arrival. Additionally, I was named as a girl and identified as such as it was the 80s and my Black cultured family didn’t have the awareness or ability to make space for the possibility of me being transmasculine/male-presenting—I was never comfortable in my female body, but I was comfortable in my joy, evident in the above photos.

You Are Love

            The final word I’ll say about my Littles for now is that in the celebration of life, this group survives and leads me to thrive, pinging me constantly with internal alerts to take care of ourself in ways we were historically neglected. Give ourselves (my selves, yourselves) the love you need now. As my best friend and sister reminds me, You are love, you need only remember that you are enough as you are and as you’ve always been. No entity need validate nor can they invalidate that truth that arrived with you.

Thank you for listening – xy&